You can now order a pizza by using your TiVo remote without moving from your couch. Whoever came up with this is in the wrong field. Imagine what they could do if they were fighting cancer.
TiVo adds Domino’s pizza to its menu
Hormel can’t make Spam fast enough
Due to the economic downturn, Spam is flying off the shelves.
I think the most disturbing sentence of the article was when a former Spam recipe contest judge recalled:
“The best thing was Spam brownies,” he said, with more or less a straight face.
A Conversation About That Bloody Pipe
“Bloody” as in the British expletive, not the condition of the pipe that Professor Plum used to kill Mr. Boddy in the study.
HIAG: Josh, why are you upset?
JOSH: Because they fixed that bloody pipe!
HIAG: What pipe? Who? What are you talking about?
JOSH: You know the pipe that carries the rainwater from the roof to the drain in the courtyard of my building?
HIAG: You mean the one that’s been broken ever since you moved in there? The one that ends about five feet off the ground, and you can hear all the water coming out of it and hitting the ground?
JOSH: Yeah, that one.
HIAG: Well…why are you upset that they fixed it?
JOSH: Because now I can’t tell if it’s raining or not?
HIAG: Huh?
JOSH: I used to be able to tell it was raining by hearing the water come out of the pipe and hitting the ground. They’ve taken that away from me.
HIAG: Uh…can you look out of the window?
JOSH: But I liked not having to look out the window. Besides, if it’s dark out, or if it’s not raining hard enough, you can’t really tell by looking out the window.
HIAG: Uh…you could use the TV or the radio.
JOSH: Nah. What if they’re not on? Besides, they only tell you every 10 minutes, and with my luck, I’d turn them on right after they did a weather report and have to wait nine more minutes. Besides, I need to know at that moment because I’m usually about the leave the house. It was so great to go to the door and hear the water coming down…it was like an umbrella alarm.
HIAG: How about one of those weather stations?
JOSH: —
HIAG: What about looking it up on the Internet?
JOSH: Did you wake up and have a big bowl of stupid for breakfast?! I just told you that the whole reason I liked it was because it was something that passively told me it was raining. Those things you mentioned require effort. I want to be able to tell if it’s raining while I’m lying in bed. I’m trying to be as lazy as possible.
HIAG: Hmm. Can you tell the building to unfix it?
JOSH: Probably not. I complain when things don’t get fixed…now you want me to complain when they actually fix something?
HIAG: Good point. So, how did they fix it?
JOSH: They put in an s-curve piece of pipe to connect the pipe from the roof to the actual drain pipe. Here, I’ll draw you a picture.
Josh grabs a pen and paper and quickly draws an incredibly awesome representation of the before and after experience of the “umbrella alarm” (despite the sneeze that occurred while trying to draw the “R” in the AFTER label).
HIAG: How about you sneak in there and break it? You could do it late at night and dress up like a ninja.
JOSH: I’m six-foot-six, two hundred twenty pounds. I don’t “sneak” anywhere.
HIAG: What about that time you were with that girl and her father came home?
JOSH: I said I don’t “sneak” anywhere. Hiding under a bed doesn’t qualify as “sneaking”.
HIAG: How long did you hide under the bed?
JOSH: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE BLOODY PIPE?!
HIAG: Nothing. I just like hearing that story.
I know it’s not Shakespeare, but it can still be classified as a tragedy.
You can now build your own Muppet at FAO Schwarz
Why do all the cool toys come out when I’m 35? Tom Robbins wrote, “You’re never too old to have a happy childhood.“ You might be right, Tom.
R2-D2 aquarium
This is now on every holiday/birthday list I have. In fact, my beer and pizza fund may have to be renamed.
Looks like the Mars Phoenix mission has ended
The sad news was sent out via Twitter. The last Twitter post “it wrote” was binary for “Triumph”.
Obama’s new Chief of Staff is Ari Gold’s brother
Well, sort of. Rahm Emanuel is the brother of Ari Emanuel, who is the inspiration for the Ari Gold character on Entourage. Insert “hug it out” joke here.
Bacon vs. Fries
Denver’s Larimer County State Senate District 14 race settled the battle once and for all. As expected, everything—including a state senate seat—is better with bacon.
Amazon’s “Frustration Free Packaging”
This is a really good idea!
Otto the octopus wrecks havoc
Octopuses (octopi?) are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. He’d have a field day in my tank.
P.S. I would love to juggle some of my workmates.
Fortune Cookie Paper Statistics
The other day I ran into one of my favorite shows on TV, the Discovery Channel’s “How It’s Made”. This particular episode was of special interest to me because they showed how fortune cookies are made, and I’m somewhat fond of them. The production of fortune cookies was about what I expected it would be: ingredients mixed; cookies baked; fortunes inserted and cookies folded; cookies wrapped, boxed and shipped.
During the segment, they gave out two interesting statistics that I was hoping they would. This particular fortune cookie factory produces 4 million cookies per day, and uses 5,000 different fortunes, which means that each fortune printed is going to be duplicated 800 times per day. Afterward, the number 4 million got stuck in my head, and danced around in there as I tried to sleep. I’m not sure why, but it just seems like a very large number to me.
Wassap 2008
The boys from the Budweiser commercial are back.
RAS syndrome
Redundant Acronym Syndrome syndrome refers to the use of one of the words that make up an acronym as well as the abbreviation itself. Like “PIN number” or “UPC code”. I can’t believe it took till 2001 to give it an unofficial name.
A Vast Right Wrist Conspiracy
Ever since I learned to tell time and wear a watch, I’ve done so on my right wrist. That may not seem that strange until you understand that I’m right-handed. The norm for a right-handed person, in civilized society, is to wear their watch on their left wrist, this way it is out of the way of writing and other right-handed activities.
The strange placement of my watch did bring about chuckles and ridicule from friends, colleagues, and acquaintances, and my response has always been something like, “That’s where I learned to wear it, and it’s too late to change now.“ After all, it had been close to 30 years since I learned to tell time and wear a watch.
I knew it was weird, but there are a lot weirder things about me that are open to ridicule (see this entire web site for a few), so it wasn’t high on my list of things about myself to improve.
In early September, after enduring years of taunting and harassment about this odd behavior of mine, I decided to change. On a Monday, I put my watch on my left wrist and went about my day.
It was one of the strangest experiences of my life.
Dr Pepper to make good on “Chinese Democracy” promo
Back in March, Dr Pepper promised a free Dr Pepper to everyone in America if Guns N’ Roses long-delayed album “Chinese Democracy” was released in 2008. It has a release date of Nov. 23rd, so if it’s actually released on that date, you can go to drpepper.com and get a coupon for one free Dr Pepper. I’m a big fan of Dr Pepper and will be there.
I used to be a big fan of GNR, but I probably won’t buy the album. In 1991, when “Use Your Illusion” came out, I was 18. I’m now 35. Besides, GNR without Slash is like Dr Pepper with a blend of only 10 flavors.
Al, a shoe salesman, calculates his tax cut under Barack Obama’s plan
He’s married, with children, and will save $1,000.
When You Have Dinner With Your Parents, You Sometimes Learn Something
Once in a while that something might be something interesting, profound, or even life changing. More often than not you learn just one more of your father’s strange eating habits. Forget about eating soup with a fork…pizza can be consumed without the crust, or the rest of the dough.
It’s a bad cellphone shot, but you can see from the picture below that the three upper slices are just dough…someone has stolen the cheese, tomato sauce, and bacon. The slice on the lower right is intact, but won’t be for long.
An eye opener indeed. I’m just glad he didn’t order a pizza the way he really wants it, “I’d like a bacon pizza, and hold the dough.“
The scariest thing is that I might turn out like him one day.
iVolume is more than 50% off at MacUpdate Promo today
iVolume adjusts the volume of your music in iTunes so that they all play at around the same perceived volume. It’s similar to iTunes built-in Sound Check, but it does a much better job. It’s almost essential when listening to playlists made from different artists/albums and Genius playlists (which is a perfect name for them). I’ve been using it for a while now and it’s definitely worth the $13 that MacUpdate Promo has it for today.
Note: The sale is only good on Oct. 21, 2008 til midnight Eastern time.
Upside Down Dogs
It’s not quite the new lolcats, but it has potential.
CareerBuilder.com finds out what TV characters would make in real life
Dexter from “Dexter” would make about $47,680. Don Draper from “Mad Men” would make about $41,379…but is that in today’s dollars?
Beautiful photo of Milky Way
Our galaxy, not the candy bar.
A nice shot of the candy bar can be found on Flickr.
How You Can Tell That Summer Has Ended And That Fall Has Arrived
When the little red light on your aquarium heater goes on for the first time in months.
Black bear prefers Subway
So he enters Subway, doesn’t find anyone there to make him a sandwich (because the worker left her post) so he hops over the counter to make himself one, decides he doesn’t want one after all and leaves, and they shoot him?
I think he got a much harsher penalty than the guy that called 9-1-1 because Subway left the sauce off his sandwich.
Palin Brushing Up On Foreign Policy At Epcot
How scary is it when a “The Onion” headline could be mistaken for a real headline?
Oh, and the story seems completely plausible too.
House rejects bailout plan
Apparently, members of the House were getting two type of phone calls from their constituents regarding how they should vote: “No”, and “Hell no!“.
Bacon cinnamon rolls
Yet another in the “how did they land a man on the moon before they did that?“ department. It’s been added to the list for my next food shopping list.
A project to replicate a $100 bill using Mechanical Turk
Click on the bill to see how each section was drawn. Make sure you check out the gallery for interesting, amusing, and creative bits of the bill.
PETA wants Ben & Jerry to use breast milk
This is getting ridiculous.
NY Times slideshow on Yankees Stadium last game
My father took me to my first ballgame at Yankees Stadium. Years later I learned that he was a Brooklyn Dodgers fan and was heartbroken when they moved, so his taking me to my first ballgame at the site of his hated rivals must’ve been a little melancholy for him. Yankees Stadium is as much a member of the Yankees as any player that has ever played there. I’ll miss it.
Next Sunday, I’ll be at the last regular season game of Shea Stadium. I am more a Mets fan, after all.
Swiss restaurant to serve meals cooked with human breast milk
Next time I’m in Switzerland, someone remind me to steer clear of this particular restaurant.
Welsh hill upgraded to mountain
Didn’t they make a movie along these lines a few years ago?
Microsoft’s new ‘I’m a PC’ images made on a Mac
This whole new campaign from MS, from the weirdly useless Seinfeld/Gates spots to the fact that by directly answering their number two competitor they are tacitly acknowledging that Apple is right, seems like it’s being managed by Leon Lett.
Happy ‘International Talk Like a Pirate’ day
Shiver me timbers! It snuck up on me this year. Arrrr.
Statue of Ernie Davis is a bit wrong
Ernie Davis, the first African-American to win the Heisman trophy, was honored by his alma-mater, Syracuse University, with a statue outside the football stadium. The statue shows Davis wearing Nike sneakers and holding a modern football helmet. The problem is that neither was around while he was playing football. The university says the statue will be fixed.
Hubble Space Telescope finds mysterious object
Scientists have no idea what it is. It appeared out of nowhere and disappeared completely.
Three words: “That’s no moon.“
How a Google News mix-up messed-up United’s stock price
Google News picked up a 6+ year old story, and no one who read it bothered to see it was from 2002, and it just snowballed from there. United stock price went from $12/share to $3/share before partially recovering at $11/share. Everyone’s pointing fingers, but the real party to blame are the people who blindly followed a news article from years ago without bothering to look at the dates.
Einstein’s watch up for auction
Scroll all the way down to see it. And what sort of watch did he wear? Longines.
